January 2012
74 posts
Conversations with Technology
- Me: You are a piece of poop.
- Computer: Windows has recovered from an unexpected shutdown...
- Me: When I'm no longer poor I'm trading you in for a Macbook
- Computer: Would you like to check online for a solution?
- Me: I hope you're in a lot of pain that never gets resolved.
- Computer: No solution found.
- Me: Typical
- Computer: ...*freezes*
Play
Play
“Start writing. Write your own stuff because no one’s going to write anything for you. Perform only with people you get along with, because life is too short. Write about what you know. Find your distinctive voice. Don’t be so adaptable to what your boyfriend thinks is funny; remember that you’re rock solid. Make yourself laugh. If you’re funny, it doesn’t matter what you look like.”
—Amy Poehler (via haphazard-human, lizdexia)
Watch ALL the movies
On January 1, 2011 I started keeping a list of all the movies I watched that year. I was hoping to get to 100, but I slacked off and only hit 83. These are those movies.
1. Bitch Slap
2. Inception
3. Black Swan
4. True Grit (original)
5. The Fighter
6. Titanic II
7. Primer
8. Mean Girls
9. Sex, Lies, and Videotape
10. Love and Other Drugs
11. Ballast
12. The Departed
13. Dead Man
14. Pi
15. Attack of the Puppet People
16. From Hell
17. A Streetcar Named Desire
18. Wishmaster
19. American Splendor
20. The Orphanage
21. Desk Set
22. Trancers
23. The Passion of Joan of Arc
24. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
25. Million Dollar Baby (II)
26. Jaws
27. Out of Africa
28. Sling Blade
29. Days of Heaven
30. Piranha
31. Through A Glass Darkly
32. Delicatessen
33. My Left Foot
34. Scream 2
35. Jacob’s Ladder
36. Bringing Up Baby
37. To Kill A Mockingbird
38. Riddles of the Sphinx
39. Scream 4
40. Waiting for Superman (II)
41. Welcome to the Dollhouse
42. Life As We Know It
43. Extract
44. The Virgin Suicides
45. The Best and the Brightest
46. MegaMind
47. The Passion of the Christ
48. The Exorcism of Emily Rose
49. Last Night
50. Fried Green Tomatoes
51. Harold and Maude
52. Bridesmaids (III)
53. When Harry Met Sally
54. 127 Hours
55. Morning Glory
56. Jackass 3
57. The Sixth Sense
58. Amelie
59. What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?
60. Rabbit Hole
61. The Town
62. Horrible Bosses
63. Goodfellas
64. Tree of Life
65. Kill Bill Volume 1
66. Limitless
67. The Brothers Bloom
68. Up!
69. The Silence of the Lambs
70. Conversations with Other Women
71. Ordinary People
72. The Exorcist
73. What’s Your Number?
74. Thirst
75. The Good Son
76. Wall Street
77. Romero
78. Jurassic Park
79. Elf
80. The Muppet Movie
81. Volver
82. Submarine
August RushDecember 2011
135 posts
“Woah, look at how fast she’s handling that money! You’ll make some man a good wife someday”
—Things weird old men say to me at work
I’m currently watching SNL 2000’s: Time and Again on VH1 and I’m falling in love with SNL all over again…not that I ever fell out of love with SNL, but there’s a definite renewal of love. Such a good decade!
“If you had a friend who was a tightrope walker, and you were walking down a sidewalk, and he fell, that would be completely unacceptable.”
—Mitch Hedberg
I'm writing a film
It’s called “Tyler Perry’s Diary of a Cranky, Menstrual, White Woman”. It will be based of the night I just had, leading into the wee small hours of the morning. Tell your friends.
Awkward Conversations I Have at My Cash Register
- Customer: Some people have ham, others have turkey, but on Christmas my family has pizza
- Me: I see nothing wrong with that. Pizza is delicious. I heard that pizza was Jesus' favorite food, so it's all good.
- Customer: .....what?
